 |
|
|
| One of the great things about having your own web page is that you can get things off your chest. Here are just a few of life's little oddities that don't make any sense to me. If you would like to add your own then email me and, in the unlikely event that I agree, I'll publish them here. Click on the link below to see the latest entries. |
 Forest bloody GumpIn at number 1 It really pisses me off when people start quoting old Forest saying, in that irritating twang, "Life is like a box of chocolates, you never know what you're going to get" or something like that. Bollocks. Every single box of chocolates that I've ever seen, and I've seen a few, has had some form of instruction leaflet to tell you EXACTLY what you're eating. So for the above to make any sense WHATSOEVER you have to be pathologically stupid. |
| The Superbowl Also, I think, applicable to baseball's world series Why oh why oh why do the team that win the Superbowl insist on calling themselves World Champions. Exactly how many teams from other countries were allowed to enter the cosy world of the NFL. None. Zippo. Now I'm a big fan of American Football, and have seen a few games whenever I've been in the States, but all other World Champion teams actually have to compete against teams from, and here's the novel part, around the world. That, in my humble opinion, is how the title World Champion originated. If, and I've heard the argument before, they call themselves World Champions because there are no other teams in the world that could compete on their level then it isn't exactly a big accolade is it? We're the champions of the world, not that anybody else plays the sport you understand. Doesn't have quite the same ring to it does it? |
| The American Use of the Word
"Math" One of life's quirky little annoying things from our friends over the Atlantic. If you have to do some adding up, subtracting, multiplication, division or differential bloody calculus you are doing mathematics, the short term of which is MATHS - note the S denoting the plural. Math is not the plural so STOP BLOODY SAYING IT! |
| Something that Jamie Dobson finds irritating, and I
must say I agree with him:
The twisting of fat content statistics when describing food. For example: "These crisps are 85% fat free". Well my maths (notice the s!) makes that equivalent to a 15% fat content - that's bloody high and not as healthy as they are trying to make them out. The Public Must be Warned! An additional observation from Jon Hill - Fat free foods have so much sugar in them that the human body converts the extra sugar to fat during a metabolic phase in the liver. Shouldn't this be considered false advertisement? |
| Mark Harris sent me this one - I'd never really thought about it before, but I have to
say I agree:
Why is it that most shops have "No dogs allowed except for guide dogs" signs? If the owner's blind (after all they've got a guide dog!) then they can't read the bloody sign, and if they're not blind then they haven't got a bloody guide dog! QED |
| A rather personal rant from Bill Bray - I'm not there yet, but when I am, I'll be in
total agreement!
Why do people say 'Oh, you're losing your hair?' I didn't lose my hair; I'm not that careless. It deserted me. Good point, well made! |
| Sam Hills sent me this one:
"ATM" means "Automatic Teller Machine", and "PIN" means "Personal Identification Number". So an "ATM Machine" would be an "Automatic Teller Machine Machine" and a "PIN Number" would be a "Personal Identification Number Number". Another good point, well made!
|
updated 6th May 2002